House of Wolves - A Power Couple's Playbook

The Power of Goal Setting for Couples

November 27, 2023 Randy & Mary Vasquez Episode 6
House of Wolves - A Power Couple's Playbook
The Power of Goal Setting for Couples
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

What if you could supercharge your relationship while pursuing your individual dreams and shared aspirations? Imagine the power of a couple united, not just in love, but in goals as well. Join us, Randy and Lety, as we delve into our personal experiences and share the potent formula we've developed to achieve success in goal setting as a couple. Setting goals isn't merely a personal endeavor. When done as a couple, it aligns personal and joint aspirations, becomes a shared vision, and fosters an environment of mutual support and accountability. Listen as we unravel how our goals have evolved and the profound impact of planning as a couple on our relationship.

Bold statement, you think? Well, brace yourself for more as we explore the revolutionary idea of joint goal setting in achieving shared dreams and individual desires. Comprehending our shared vision and breaking down mammoth goals into smaller, achievable ones have been instrumental in our journey. More so, it's the accountability that's been our game-changer. We hold each other responsible, ensuring our goals don't drift into oblivion. Join us as we navigate this exciting journey of goal setting, and discover how it could guide your relationship towards a shared future while allowing space for individual aspirations. So, be our guest and let's toast together to planning, to goal setting, and ultimately, to success.

Want to join in the conversation? Subscribe to The Broke Millionaire Youtube channel or follow Randy and Mary on Instagram. You can also check out their luxury & exotic vehicle rental service at howmotorsluxe.com, and elevate your side-hustle education at The Broke Millionaire Academy.

To watch our episodes please subscribe to The Broke Millionaire Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvci4bqKjDE&list=PLh_N9FtZhe5qF453HxF7SbrKqLg1D2PBT

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Follow Mary on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/mary__mar/

Join The Broke Millionaire Academy to begin/further your side-hustle education. Courses and Life Coaching all available at https://the-broke-millionaire-academy.teachable.com/

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Speaker 1:

So everything that you and I do has been planned, it is strategic and it gets done. We're live, we're live.

Speaker 2:

Okay, we're off. Wow, we're on.

Speaker 1:

Diablo.

Speaker 2:

Randil Shit my bad.

Speaker 1:

Cheers, cheers. Yeah, look at me, you know that All right, we're back.

Speaker 2:

We're back at it. I got my hoodie on because it's hoodie season, sweater weather, excited about this episode because this one is one that's near and dear to our heart. Very special, very special.

Speaker 1:

You would think it's about us, but it's like a kid that we send off to boarding school and we send those care packages and see it every quarter.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it comes back to the laundry. It comes back to the laundry. Yeah, I like that, I like that. So what's the topic?

Speaker 1:

So the topic is about goal setting, goal setting for couples. The way that we orchestrate our lives revolves around goal setting. So everything that you and I do has been planned, it is strategic and it gets done.

Speaker 2:

Right, well, yeah, I mean it does.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes we may exceed a deadline or not make a deadline, but it probably slows over into the following year. Yeah, but it eventually gets done.

Speaker 2:

It does, it does, and we're trying For now.

Speaker 1:

I lose.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and this is a good time because we're 2023 coming in, right, and you can use this every year and we revisited multiple times depending on what's going on in life and what happens and how things change as well right, but we're always grounded on sort of what we got to do and how we got to do it and where we want to go right. So those are really good conversations that we have and, as you're starting a new year, a lot of people do this right. So, for us, we make sure that we do it now and, like you said, we've revisited every single quarter. Right, we set our goals and how long have we been doing this?

Speaker 1:

Not the first year that we met. I think once like we joined the party.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I like the party. Yeah, so like 2015-ish. Yeah, we started to really look at it right.

Speaker 1:

Not as sophisticated as now, because I feel like now we have developed a formula, that it's a pattern. We already know where what goes where and don't worry, we'll tell you how we do it, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And with experience that continues to grow, right. So we keep getting better at it, faster at it. It becomes easier for us as you continue to revolve around it. So I'll jump right in deep into it and then kind of we'll talk about how we set it up, how we keep it in track, how people could do it right. We'll give that advice to others. So for us we use a model that it's called 531, right? So we have a vision in mind of where we want to be right? And we say, hey, here's our five-year vision. Where do we want to be in five years? Right? And I think, before I dive into kind of the rest, one of the things for me that's important on there right, is how much time we spend on actual that conversation, right?

Speaker 1:

Yeah Well, when we sit down, it's like a schedule thing. This is not like we talk about it over lunch, right. We literally set out the time. We're like, okay, so there's, we're going to be goal setting. Come ready, come with your notebook. It's usually three, four hours, right. Sometimes it spills and we'll have to have like a part two. The conversations become lengthy because we actually go through our personal goals first. So, for example, I may have certain aspirations for the following year, personal challenges, I don't know. So we'll go through maybe like 15 of those and maybe 15 of those actually make the cut to the actual master roadmap for the following year. Alongside of that and that was just an example we also piggyback on the things that we have committed to in the past, in the past years. It's not like every year you're changing your five-year plan. It's almost kind of like updating things and shifting, and sometimes those goals become more ambitious, right. It's possible that three years ago we might have said, oh shit, we kind of did that five-year thing in three. What now? Right, and it just starts evolving. So it's always kind of like a small bowl, you know, just keep packing it nice and tight. And it's a powerful conversation, because it's really one of those rare moments when we start planning that it's kind of like, oh sure, do you want to do that? Like I didn't know that and like not that we don't have time to talk about these things, but it really exercises you to think about yourself, the things that you want to do, to have your you know, to develop the things that are going to bring joy to you. That has nothing to do with the relationship, and then, of course, you may come up with like a big laundry list of that, but eventually, when you come together, these personal goals then become our joint goals. Because then I asked, randy, the point of us planning together is because we asked for each other's support. So, for example, if I want to run a 10K and I've never made a pass of five, I'm going to need some extra support. So if my marathon is in March, I'm like, hey, it comes January, I need to get out there and I have to run. You need to help me, and the best time for me to run is XYZ. What can we do so that you can support me while I'll train and make it easy on the other person? And that's just one example on how these ideas and goals make the cut and how you know we kind of like piggyback. You know, rely on each other to get them done.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's why I said that that conversation is so important, right? Because that conversation then, like you said, it'll tell me oh shit, maybe I want to run a 10K too, right, and then maybe that becomes a goal for us to do it together. Or maybe I challenge it and say oh, you want to do that in March. Actually, I wanted to do this in March. So how does that fit? What do we need? Can you move it to April? And we have that dialogue, right? It seems very transactional, but I think what it does for us is, again, it just gives us that roadmap and that vision, which I really, really enjoy. So, you know, you have your five year, so that's the first one. And then you go into your what we call the one, two, three year mark. Right, so the vision is a five. The one, two, three mark is your goals, right? So what goals do you have, right, that you can set that are going to help you achieve that vision. So it's basically working your way back, ok. So let's just say you're like well, I want to, you know and I'll break it down a little bit deeper but I want to buy a house in five years. That's my goal, right, right, what can you do in the one to three year mark? What are you trying to accomplish is going to set you up to be able to buy that house, right? So that's kind of how we the big picture. And then, you know, one of the the important parts about that middle bucket is that we have to make them realistic, right, like, is it real for us within a year or two years, three years, to achieve that? Of course and we challenge each other on that, which is what I appreciate we say hey, when you're like, oh, we're going to save, let's say, x amount of dollars, right, we're going to save 50,000 or 100,000. Or you know, we're going to invest and buy two or three more properties, you know we kind of challenge her that, hey, is that too much? Right? Can we really do that with, maybe all the other stuff that's happening, how we're going to accomplish that, and that sparks other conversations of here's how we can accomplish that Right? Or we talk about, hey, is that not enough, right? Like, are we not thinking big enough? Are we not thinking big enough, right? And I think that's the key right? Because then it sets us up to that point of like, holy shit, you're thinking that we can do all of that yeah. Right, and I think that that's pretty cool.

Speaker 1:

It is, and I think our personality is really kicking in because, remember, I'm much more like down here, very operations, and I only think about to be in tomorrow, randy. You go out of space and then come back and then drop all this on me and I'm like I don't know if we can do this, but if I, if you give me a big idea, I'll break it down and maybe we can accomplish it. And the conversations are I don't know. I wish we had like a fly in the wall. They're pretty cool and that's why they become it's kind of like a war room. It becomes a very flowy conversation and there's a lot of intimacy in it too, because, as I said, it brings up things that we want to do independently. Some of those independent goals become joint goals because when okay, that's actually a pretty good idea, I want to do that too, and that makes it easier on us because now we have a shared aspiration. When it comes to the couple goals, it becomes a little different because if, for example, one of our past goals that we did like thing two years ago, we said, well, next year I want to read X amount of books, and we committed to that and we were keeping each other accountable. I'm like, hey, we have six audio credits on audible. We're going to download these books. I don't want to misuse them, so I make sure I buy my titles that they're no longer that you don't have in your other library. So it is pretty interesting the way that it all comes together. Why don't we discuss a little bit more about those joint goals that we actually come up with at the table?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so the joint goals are pretty cool. I guess we're like I'll ask you the question what do you want to do? And then I'll see how I fit into that. And then we talk about hey, do you think maybe we could go to five different countries this year? Right, maybe we could buy a couple of houses this year. Or hey, how can I support you and the stuff that you're doing? And maybe I I said, right, you want to run a 10 K, so then maybe I run the 10 K with you and kind of, we do that together. Now that becomes a joint goal for us. But ultimately is about understanding where we want our lives to be as a couple. Yeah, and their family. That is the emphasis. That's the emphasis. So when you talk about joint goals, right, the question is Okay, cool, in five years I might want to have a crazy body fat percentage, or I might want to have, you know, wake up every single day and do something different, or read a book, or visit something or learn how to cook.

Speaker 1:

I might want to learn something for myself.

Speaker 2:

But then I look at the overall picture and I'm like where do we want our family to be?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right, it's not just about you and me, but it's about our family. Right, we got a leger, we got a liana. We got to figure out what does this look like for us? What are the experiences we want to give them? What's the experiences that we want to have a family? How do we want to set ourselves up? So we start talking about that and we get into those joint sort of vision and the joint goals and, ultimately, what's funny about it is, although we want to do our separate things, we end up coming back to the same place, right, yeah, which is a great part.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I believe that the system really works as a funnel. It starts very wide at the circle area and then, as it cones down, to the actual big picture, all this wider area here encompasses all of our individual aspirations, or joint aspirations, and the joint aspirations as Randy mentioned. They're joint aspirations because we do everything together, our business takes into play and where we want to elevate the business, that's a conversation about whether we're going to have more marketing dollars or we're going to cut down what we want to do. Like Randy said, it's about family. Five years from now, allegra will be 13 years old. What do we want for her at 13?

Speaker 2:

She's going to be 13?

Speaker 1:

Yes, that's great, so it's almost like two years around. I'm going to be planning a quinceañera, I know, so it is really fantastic the way that it all comes together and we really invite everyone listening to this podcast to really start giving it some thought. We're at your end. We want to invite you to come together with your significant and other and put your ideas down and see how you can help each other accomplish those goals.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I want to get back to that one year, right, it talks about the five, the one to three, and then current. So then that's the more, I think, transactional one. So you have your vision, which is your aspirations. Where do you want to be in five years? Where do you want to be when you grow up? You want to do three years. What are the goals that you want to accomplish? And then again, the one year, like in 2023, as we go into that, here are the things that I can start doing now. Here's the actual transactional things right, I can actually start waking up at a certain time, right, I can actually start eating a certain way. I can actually start saving X amount of dollars. Right, whether it's 50, 100 bucks, whatever it is, to get to that goal, I can actually start. So those are the pieces. I can start doing my research if I want to get another education or learn about something else. So that one year is really getting down to all those little transactional things that you can do. Right, to set you up for that. Now I want to talk about the reason we set it up that way is because, for me, I realized that you know, trying to do these big, lofty goals, right and saying, oh, I want to accomplish, you know, buy three properties, or I want to buy two cars, or I want to buy a travel the world it becomes daunting, right Of just that major goal. So for us, breaking it down, like you said, right it's more adjustable more digestible and easier and you actually start looking at it. And for me I'm a visionary. Like for me, I can see whether how I'm going to be in 10 years from now. Like I have a picture of that in my mind.

Speaker 1:

For you yeah for you.

Speaker 2:

You're like very present, you're very today. Yeah, you see what's in front of you and you act and you live in today and I think what's helped right and correct me if I'm wrong here For you it's helped kind of see it in a board, see it right now, seeing, oh yeah we actually could do that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, 100%. I am so visual, I actually I need to put it on paper. If Randy throws a number at me, I need to break it down by day, like oh, that's $836,000. Okay, well, what does that look like on a daily basis? Oh, it's XYZ. Okay, no problem, I think I can do that right Rather than the big picture. So for us, it is really helpful to understand all these particular goals and for me Randy is a visionary, so he's okay, welcome with this like mental, you know, vision board. For me. I actually need to put it on paper. I need to, like, constantly update it, scratch things off, scratching things off a list for me is so satisfying.

Speaker 2:

It brings me so much joy. Absolutely, I have to do this every day and it's like.

Speaker 1:

I don't know. Sometimes you're like in a meeting. I'm like.

Speaker 2:

You walk into the office and you do that, and that's another key point, right, you probably see the whiteboard behind me, but we have another whiteboard in our office, right, where we continue to keep those goals right. We keep it right in front of us. We keep that vision in front of what are we trying to accomplish. Another piece that I want to hit on on, why I think goal setting really helps us, right, kind of get to and accomplish the things that we want and you mentioned it a little bit before is we hold each other accountable, right? So now, by writing down, having the conversation, I have the clear communication with you of exactly what you want to do and, if you want to do that, what I want to do, right, how you're going to support me in that, how I'm going to support you, and what we want to do together. We have that clear vision in mind and then we revisit it every single day, right, or every single week, whenever it is, and we see it, we say, okay, hey, this is what we're going to do. So when you see me with a cookie, or when you see me, hey, mary, I want to buy this car, or I want to buy and you're like how does that fit with the fact that you wanted to buy a property? Or how does that fit with the fact? You know, we're going through a situation right now where I'm like I really want this and you're like, okay, we've been talking about it, do it right. And you're supportive of me because-. Even I'm dying, but I'm but we've talked about this is what we want to do, so it's like it's like shut up and go. Yeah, it's like we agreed on this already. It's on there. So for me again, it's not just the fact of knowing where you're going to go and how you're going to get there, but it's also how you hold yourself accountable to get there right.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, I think the process works. Brandy and I have developed a system. It has gotten better. I'm excited about our session.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Because we're going to finish ours. Ours is halfway done, yeah, so it's going to be interesting to see what's going to spark up for next year. I am so excited and I'm so proud of us because, honestly, this is kind of like innovative and I'm so proud of us, so grownish of us to do this. And honestly, you guys, just the emas put a message on YouTube, whatever it's the coolest thing in the world Maybe I'll let you guys in to see our little chicken scratches so you can get an example of how to get this done and honestly, planning together is committing to stay together. Whether they say couples that work out together stay together is the same thing here. If couples that plan together stay together, everything you're planning for the next five years.

Speaker 2:

You can coin that one. I like it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's nice. It's nice that you have a joint agenda and I love being your teammate and I have so much fun doing these things. That's why it's so special to me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I like it. I like it. Let's cheers to that. Maybe we should leave it right there. Maybe, All right, more to come on this topic again, because it's a foundation for us and I think it's something that's worked for us. We've talked about it to other people and it's worked for them as well, as they kind of learned. So we'll drop a little bit more information on how we do it, what's worked for us, what hasn't worked for us, and stay tuned for another episode, and I think this is our almost eighth or ninth one. So, yeah, you hate it when I say episodes. So 2023, start your goal setting now, start your planning right now, and much success to everybody as they continue to grow.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely Bye Cheers, and you right now.

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Joint Goal Setting for the Future
Couple's Planning Power