House of Wolves - A Power Couple's Playbook

Marriage Sucks: A Raw & Unfiltered Discussion

November 27, 2023 Randy & Mary Vasquez Episode 9
House of Wolves - A Power Couple's Playbook
Marriage Sucks: A Raw & Unfiltered Discussion
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Have you ever stopped to wonder what it means to navigate a successful marriage? Brace yourself for a raw and unfiltered journey into the world of marriage, through the eyes of my partner and I, seasoned in the art of marital navigation. We're peeling back the layers of our journey from the rush of courtship to the challenges of parenthood, and the unexpected competition that arises in the quest to prove worth to each other.

Our relationship gives testimony to the fact that marriage isn't just a voyage of love, but an expedition that requires constant work and effort. With the unexpected arrival of adulting responsibilities and a newborn, we found ourselves in a maze of challenges. Yet, the magic within these struggles is the growth and deep connections it fosters. We have a candid discussion about our experiences, including the confusion we navigated and how we adopted a strategy of assuming positive intent and providing feedback, ultimately reminding ourselves that we are a united front.

Last but not least, we delve into the power of communication and mercy in marriage. Discover how wielding the shield of kindness and acceptance can transform conversations, preventing them from spiraling into disrespect. We accentuate the importance of appreciation, a forgotten art that can help couples avoid taking each other for granted. So, join us as we toast to the rollercoaster that is marriage – a challenging yet beautiful journey filled with immense growth and deep connections. We promise, it’s an episode you won’t want to miss.

Want to join in the conversation? Subscribe to The Broke Millionaire Youtube channel or follow Randy and Mary on Instagram. You can also check out their luxury & exotic vehicle rental service at howmotorsluxe.com, and elevate your side-hustle education at The Broke Millionaire Academy.

To watch our episodes please subscribe to The Broke Millionaire Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvci4bqKjDE&list=PLh_N9FtZhe5qF453HxF7SbrKqLg1D2PBT

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Follow Mary on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/mary__mar/

Join The Broke Millionaire Academy to begin/further your side-hustle education. Courses and Life Coaching all available at https://the-broke-millionaire-academy.teachable.com/

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Speaker 1:

I was raised by the wolves. Ain't 24 Run into the night playin' with your life. Run against the pack. That's risk in your life. Better play it right and you better play it right. I got loyalty and blood. I do anything for love and everything for us. Doing everything like everything ain't been so much we know my favorite sign of love. Welcome back to our podcast, house of Wolves.

Speaker 2:

I forgot the name again.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, I forgot the name of the channel.

Speaker 2:

Say it again I forgot the name again, did you forget?

Speaker 1:

everything. House of Wolves is how we broadcast Power Couple Edition, power Couple's playbook Wow.

Speaker 2:

But I don't know, it doesn't matter, people know it. It's probably coming out right here in the video the Ragnar.

Speaker 1:

Mary Show, it's like that, but we should have just named it that shit. It's coming out right here at the bottom, so you should see it.

Speaker 2:

Okay, we'll post up titles for the multiple edited version of our podcast.

Speaker 1:

I like it. So new setting again I like it. We keep switching it up.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

I like it, so we got the sign up. Finally, we waited for that for a very long time. How long did we talk about that?

Speaker 2:

sign up. We've been talking about the sign for like two years.

Speaker 1:

A year and a half. Alright, in two years.

Speaker 2:

Then we placed the order. God knows where this was made.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

We forgot. We placed the order we did? We got it back here. I'm like, was this yours or something?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And it was finally the freaking sign.

Speaker 1:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

And then it took us like a month to put it up, yeah.

Speaker 1:

And here we go. It's finally up. It looks good. It might be a little crooked, but it's not going to go probably full, but it was kind of like a mission, but it's good, I like it. I like it being able to Alright, so let's jump in. Then let's get right into it. What's this fuck? What's this one about?

Speaker 2:

Marriage Beware.

Speaker 1:

Marriage, beware so.

Speaker 2:

I'll drink to that.

Speaker 1:

I thought it was going to be like marriage sucks.

Speaker 2:

Marriage Beware is the hot topic. The marriage sucks is the entire episode. Marriage sucks.

Speaker 1:

Marriage sucks. So we're going to hit on a couple topics today, right, we're going to talk about why do we think marriage sucks, why beware beware is really the title, because for us, we didn't expect marriage to be like this, right, and there's so many challenges throughout it. That is insane. How much you have to work at this is the hardest thing that I think we've ever done, right. So I think this episode for us is especially important because, again, we've talked about our business dynamic, we've talked about how we work together, but talking about how we've sustained this marriage I mean, we've been on a thread a lot of times, right. I think that's also very important for us to discuss 100%.

Speaker 2:

I Feel that a lot of people will be able to relate to this title about marriage stocks. Marriage beware, because it really doesn't come with a warning. You know, they usually say hey, you know, if you're gonna get married, then now, the modern age, go get some Pre-concelling before you marry right. Get learn some to me some books read some books, you know how, some engagement photos Nobody really tells you. Hey, maybe you should go to a boot camp and like Go on the survival guy for six months and then see if you really want to get married. Yeah like to me is like beyond me, people that don't even live with each other before they even get married.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, there's, there's tons of books out there, right, in ways that you can learn about it, but again, I think not even a book can prepare you for what is in store. You know, for me it's been a learning experience that I think Every day just brings different reward, right, no matter how I envisioned it. So we'll start with that piece, right, we'll talk about. The rewards well, yeah, we'll get to that, but I want to talk about, like before we got married, kind of our views of what marriage was. So what was your view of what marriage is before?

Speaker 2:

we got married. I love putting me on the spot because you know how I felt yeah and it's like epic.

Speaker 1:

It's the best story ever.

Speaker 2:

It's not it's very like a typical of me. So technically any time for a whole 30 years of my life I did not even think about marriage. I grew up watching Mexican ovales on the world and only busy on hardcore. All the novellas were poor girl meets rich guy, fixes her life, they have children. Of them comes villain, dies Happily ever afters.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like no bad evil grandfather or something, yeah Like witchery situation, I don't know.

Speaker 2:

So that was no way less in real life. I really didn't have any like Examples or good you know, like good role models of a marriage.

Speaker 1:

I thought.

Speaker 2:

From a broken marriage. My parents were divorced. I think by the time I was born, no one around me. I have 11 BS.

Speaker 1:

Yeah okay. Wow.

Speaker 2:

One is probably still married. Yeah, we eat the boys once twice Twice that knows, you know maybe three soon exactly um so anyway, so growing up, marriage was not anything that was talked to me about, the importance of being married, seeing the values and you know the strengths of being in a marriage. So to me it was like, okay, so when I grow up I Don't want to be poor, I want to have some kind of career where we're suit. That was like the thing back then.

Speaker 1:

I was suit. Um the coach that we come from?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the coach that we come from. You were suit. You made it in life. I I learned how to speak English because I came here when I was seven years old and then I always said I wanted kids. But I never really said I want to get married and I never like cut out wedding dresses and all this over the bullshit. I just said I'll have children. So for me foundation I come from a big family Family is very important to us. So for me, having a family just meant I guess I have kids, but I never really thought about who this person was gonna be, or the importance of marriage. All the importance, significance behind it at all. Right, exactly.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no, I get it, and for me was the opposite right. For me I come from Parents have been married now 50 years. You want them 51 years, which is insane right, and I always saw them married right and a lot of influences around me as well my uncles and On, since I've been married right and it was a big deal for my mom. It's like the biggest thing in the world is for her kids To be married and marriages like the pinnacle of all. And for me, I saw that and you know I saw their challenges throughout and they argue every single day, even to not even close my parents is a constant argument and fighting about the same exact thing. So for me it's kind of like wow, marriage is what I need to do, because that's the what was instilled in me by my parents. But this is. It looks like it's not fun, right, but it's still in my mind like why I need to have a marriage. And I think, as I got older, I started to think about okay, you know my minority journey. Okay, here's all the people that are married. Here's my mind of the experience that I've seen them have and how they're doing things wrong. They make it do things different if I did this or that. So my idea of marriage is like hey, this is a good thing, this is where you're supposed to get to when you're married right. So I think it was different, so I'll throw this question at you. So what changed? Why did you then decide that it was cool to marry me, like, why'd you say yes? And you didn't say yes, by the way, but we'll get into that another day but why'd you say yes?

Speaker 2:

cuz they're not pregnant. I'm kidding.

Speaker 1:

Oh my god.

Speaker 2:

Yes, that is like the ongoing, I think like rumor or joke guys. Fyi, a liberal was totally planned. Yes this, is it? So? Anyway, what changed? I think you changed me. You came into the picture like super hardcore, like you can't man, you, you came in hot. Oh that, come on, you're gonna be a little bit of my delivery Okay so I think you changed my entire Perspective. I came in with like, oh yeah, I guess I have a family and we will say get married. But it wasn't really like a goal for me, it was just be successful, have children blow up. But then you came in and you were like, hey, listen, you know, like I want to have this life with you, like I want to get married, I want to buy a house, like the whole white picket fence thing that we always, you know you visit and you were pretty much laying out everything that every girl wants to hear. Like way early, oh, like you were using the words you were saying us and when we do this, I'm like, excuse me, we have not even like Cross the border of the state.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like what are you saying?

Speaker 2:

Um, and I think that it was your confidence, how you instilled so much security in me. Like I think I I went through, like my years of dating and I had some serious boyfriends and nobody had ever like Gave me those like those vibes, those vibes. Marry me, I guess, or nobody was like Courting me in the right way. Nobody used those words.

Speaker 1:

It was always like a fucking game or guessing, and my girlfriend I don't fucking know, but I guess back to the other episode that we did. Yeah, it's just being ready for it, right?

Speaker 2:

right. And then you come in the picture and I was like, listen, I got good credit, I don't have any that, um, I'm about to be 30 and I'm looking for a wife, pretty much, and you look like you have the whole package. I fell in love with your butt, but here you are and You're like the last you want to corn here. I'm gonna snatch you up and you're my person and I was like wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. How do you know all this? Like I don't know if it was like all so intuitive, or it was just like years of you like growing up in such a great foundation and your family, seeing these great examples and the things that you visualize and knowing that marriage was something for you. And then you saw me and maybe I said the right things or walked the right way and you were like, okay, this is it yeah and I'm gonna apply.

Speaker 1:

It talked about that many times, right, I was just, I was in a point in my life where I was ready for that and I knew exactly what I wanted. I was ready mentally, physically, all the oldest pieces, right. So I, If I find that person, I'm not gonna back down from it, I'm gonna jump into it. So that that was kind of the the whole picture. But we talk about that whole you know side of it. And then, um, we get into marriage, right, and then it's a fucking roller coaster, right, it becomes like this crazy ass spiral down. Right, we had everything planned, everything was beautiful, we got engaged, we were pregnant, we bought a house, we were traveling Uh, everything was perfect. And the minute that I feel like we had that baby and we were finally married, everything was like downhill and it was like the opposite of what we expected.

Speaker 2:

And, may I add, I have the baby and then have a house that was built in 1908. Yeah, which was like. It was like having an old lady. You're taking care of a hundred-year-old lady and a freaking newborn if it wasn't a baby, like teething, it was like the house, like yeah.

Speaker 1:

Shit everywhere. I was a fucking nightmare, uh, but that was, that was part of our lives and I think you know when I say marriage sucks and marriage is difficult, I think it's is those points, right? It's like people see the pretty, the beautiful things but they don't see All the stresses that come with it. Right, like we just said, great things happening to us, right. A baby, she's healthy. We buy a house, that's great. Right um, everything is like just beautiful, we find our person right, and then it's like, wait a minute, now I gotta go clean the plumbing that's downstairs and we don't have money to pay for this or call a plumber, and then, shit, I have to make it into work. But you know, I'm stressed because something's happening and it was just like all these Interior and exterior stresses that were happening, that happened in anybody's life, that now you have to share with somebody else and understand how to like, live with them and figure that piece out, which was, I think, the the most difficult part in any marriage.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for me as you were speaking, I'm sorry that I kind of like was just going in my own thought. I feel you 100%, but what came to my mind as you were speaking, it's like having a puppy that it doesn't matter what you're going through.

Speaker 1:

That part, that a little puppy will once I go to the park.

Speaker 2:

Right, once you feel your love. And going through these like adulting, right Situations which is going to work, waking up, dealing with you know, remember our basement flooded with shit, yeah, from the pipes, right, and we didn't sleep at all that I before and we had to be out of the house by 6 am that morning. Those are all things that actually happened. And then, while dealing with that, we needed to just show up for each other and be like hey, babe, you got your lunch. Hey, do you want to have a hot chocolate at 2? I think I have a little break.

Speaker 1:

Exhausted, exhausted exhausted throughout the whole time and thinking about those right, okay, we just mentioned. You know why marriage sucks. Right, you're picking up, and the reason why I wanted to start it with what your view was and my view was is because your whole, entire existence, your whole life oh, 29, 30 years prior to meeting me and being in this relationship, in your mind you had a different perspective of what each of what marriage should be, what being with a partner should be, and I had a whole different, other perspective. So you get into that and you Freshly knew not understanding each other. You get into the sort of competition All right, that's what, that's what it is. You get into a competition with the other person where you're now trying to say, okay, well, I see that life should be this way and marriage should be this way, and you should be doing this and you should be doing that. And you know what? I did the dishes last night. So I'm holding 50%. So you're getting to like this whole competition piece with the other person where you're like Is the other person holding up there under the bargain Right? And that just adds a different layer of, again, challenges to the marriage that I think everybody goes through, which ultimately makes it so difficult.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, um, one of the biggest challenges that we had and I think that we touch on this on one of the other episodes is that, um, in not just in our marriage, but everybody's marriage is like you have two people from complete different walks of life and I feel like I'm rephrasing what you're saying Come together, you throw at them a hundred new problems that they have never dealt with before and they have to come to reach common grounds, and that competition comes in the household, but also it's kind of even like bringing in our own values, like we were lucky to. We're not lucky, we were just, um, it felt into place that we come from the same background. So we understand and have a universal language of when we say our people, our people from our country or culture or families. We understand that. But imagine for couples that are from completely different parts of the world and their families are pushing, let's say, their Western values on Eastern values, or people that, let's say, vegans versus people that just eat steak every day, and they have to come to a common ground on a daily basis and cohabit. Yeah, it's difficult.

Speaker 1:

It is difficult.

Speaker 2:

And sometimes the competition. And we mentioned competition because it's not really intentional. We're not here, we don't want to compete against each other. We marry each other because we love each other and we want to have a life together in harmony. Nobody talks about competition when you talk about marriage, but it's something that happens in our subconscious. For example, before you, I was pretty much alpha, 100%. I mean, I'm still alpha.

Speaker 1:

That is a mother. That's awesome, that's awesome.

Speaker 2:

Awesome wars, so still a predator, still killing it. But when I met Randy, I was extremely masculine in the sense of what did you bring to the table? I bought this table and I felt like Randy and I had a very rushed courtship. Things got real fast for us. So I still felt that I brought in a lot of bad habits and I felt like I still needed to prove myself to you in many ways and I think that I was competing with you on ways of a salary. I was competing with you on. Well, I just had a baby and I need to show that I'm like the best mom ever, even though I have zero experience at being a mom, and I neither do you. And we just started competing on so many levels. How did you feel when we were going through those motions like brand new everything? And I'm talking about when we first moved to Bogota and had the baby and these competitions really became a real thing?

Speaker 1:

I felt like that I understand it right, because for me I had you mentioned it in our intro right about like how I was talking about we and us, and I had my vision of how this should be going for us in terms of our marriage. And then all of a sudden it becomes this competition where I'm like, listen, I didn't do the dishes last night, not because I wanted to be a jerk, I was exhausted, right. So for me it was like there was things that were happening in our lives and the way that you were reacting to stuff and I was acting to stuff and I would, you know, you would do an action, I would react to that, right, and it was a constant, like buddy heads. And you know, when I thought about it now it's kind of like, listen, in that I was just very confused. I was very confused. I'm like this is not what I pictured a marriage to be. This is not what I pictured us having communication. I was like why is she mad right now? Like why is she thinking that I'm trying to like outdo her or this, or why is she defensive when I'm just like trying to help? Oh shit, my bad, I didn't get the milk, but that was not because I did the intention, but like it was an oversight of something, and so it was like a lot of those little pieces where I was like shit, I don't know why me and her are fighting right now or why these are happening. So, again, I was just very fucking confused. I was just very confused. I apologize for that one. No, I have to apologize. I totally understand. It was in something that you knew. And again, the reason we're here today is because we've been able to get past those things and we've been able to talk about. I don't have those conversations that we're saying to ourselves now like listen, what was happening before we understand that it was. You know you were going through stuff, right. You had a. You know we talk about postpartum all the time. You had postpartum and it was a real thing and we just didn't know that was a real thing, right. So you were dealing with that. I was dealing with my own things, right. I was trying to be successful in my career. I was trying to build, trying to learn how to be a father, learn how to be a husband, provide, deal with a house. How do I manage all those pieces? And I'm there trying to figure out how do I do all these things right and I'm battling you at the same time, and then how do I take a stand, like it was just a lot of discovery that we had to do in order for us to be okay with it, and I think you know now how we overcame. All those things is a simple conversation of like, listen, and it's a really good book that we always recommend to people's radical candidate right when it says in that book it's about providing feedback and one of the messages is not the feedback it's necessarily is always assume positive intent, right. No matter what I do, no matter if I mess up, if I make a mistake, if I forget something, if I say something bad, if I say something that hurts, you assume that I have positive intent.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it comes from a place of care.

Speaker 1:

It comes from a, exactly a place of care, and maybe I messed that up. But give me that feedback and tell me hey, listen, you made me feel X, y and Z this way. Or hey, by you doing this, this happened, and then I can learn from that. But don't always assume that because I had an action or decided not being a jerk, or I'm trying to outdo you or I'm trying to plant and I don't have that negative perspective of me. Instead, always assume I'm doing positive, but I'm human and I make a damn mistake.

Speaker 2:

But that's our motto now. But imagine if we would have applied that even like from the first day that we moved into the random house. It's like, if we would have had those, you know, those learning those lessons that we now know, we were equipped with those tools, then it would have been a whole different game changer. And I think that even for, like, even newlyweds and people that are brand new in our relationship, it's so important to come in, prepare, which takes us back to that one episode that we did about be prepared for the one, because foundation work is so very important as an individual. But then once you come to a marriage, you know it's no different. You now have to prepare now as a unit for the teamwork. And the reason why we continue to say the title is funny it's like marriage beware doesn't come with a warning and marriage sucks is because you have to learn all these tools when you're in it. As much as we can say, hey, prepare all that. It becomes real as real situations arise. You know, I mean we never thought that. Having a baby and say, dealing with postpartum depression and financial stress at the same time who can train you for that?

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Right, who can treat? How can you be trained on? Hey, is my wife like having the blues post baby? Does she have postpartum Like?

Speaker 1:

can I even say that out loud without I didn't find that she ran away and I was just like I don't know. How do I tell her that this is the case without her killing me about it? Yeah, because I saw that coming. But yeah, you're absolutely right, you can't prepare for any of those things you don't know. I mean, you can try, you can be ready from a foundational piece, but you don't know what I think is. As you start going through it, you know there's gonna be times that you're unhappy. Right, that's something that people don't really talk about is listen. There's been times in our marriage that I'm unhappy.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I, you know, been able to communicate that to you. Like, listen, right now, the past six months and what's going on, I'm really feeling this is not what I pictured us being. It's not what I pictured happening. So there's gonna be those times. There's gonna be times and that's similar to, like you know you're in your job and you're going, you have the passion and the great job. You might not be happy there, Right, you might not be happy with your job. You might not be happy sometimes with your parents, with your kids. Like you're not always 100% gonna be happy. People have to get away from that and say, if you're married, you've got to be. It's not gonna happen. It's gonna be those times. But how do you work through that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

How do you work through that? And I go back to. I had a boss one time, who you know. She was talking to me about her personal life. I had a really good relationship with her and she had mentioned something. She was married for like 30 some odd years. She had mentioned something to me that stayed with me and I'm very impactful. She was like look, randy, I've been up and down with my husband for the 30 years and sometimes we love each other, sometimes we hate each other. And she's like what I've realized and what we've realized is that there's always a special event that brings us back closer, right. And I was like, okay, what do you mean by that? And she was like, either we moved, she moved across country, she moved to London, I believe it was. You know, they had a kid, another kid, he retired and she, like her career, took off, like there's always been a milestone and change in that that's brought them together, because they've had to work together, because there's been a huge change. She told me there's points in your marriage that you know it's going to be tough because it's stagnant and it's just like I'm getting tired, it's not happy. This is not what I envisioned, but then you know, you do a change, something happens, you work today, you collaborate and you remember again why you love that person.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Right and that stuck with me always. I'm like okay, well, that's a part of life of you. Got to continue to grow with your significant other, because if you continue, to grow with your significant other and accomplish milestones, then you'll always have that thing that you can refer back to as this part is back together.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I think that what we've said is that our marriage goes through seasons. We're like Northeastern, so we have full spring, summer, etc. And right now we're in a blue-bean season when we always reference our most difficult time we refer it as the Cold War which is now like winter is coming after Game of Thrones fans out there, which is true. It can be very cyclical and it's important that we understand and identify when we're probably going through a dry spell in our marriage. It could be a dry spell just on you and you're just living. There's times where you're going through your own funk and you don't know you're in it and I'm like Randy's going, he's going into a dark place or he's just not right. I'm noticing these things and we have a conversation on K-Babe. Lately you've been snapping the smallest things. You just don't seem to be present, like what's going on, and by the time we have this conversation, you've been at it for a couple of weeks, maybe two months, and then it takes you then sometimes to process what I just said, right, and then you come back and you're like babe, you're absolutely right, Maybe I really think I found the source of what's going on here and then we take it from there and it brings us back to radical candor and being able to give that feedback, One of the things that make our communication right now so healthy and I think, like it has been, if somebody went to Southern Othamonde, then that's been our communication because it has just superseded 100%, because we've been through times where we were not communicating, which is like throwing words at each other. First of all, I'm a terrible listener. I'm still working on it. I'm not great, but I try to be first. Even you say so I'm like did I get that right what I'm saying? So we work constantly on the things that, on our weaknesses, in a sense, because it's important. Randy likes to be heard and understood. He feels yeah and for me that's really difficult. But because this is important to him, it's important for any union I work on that, you know and our communication has improved so much and it has been through feedback and the constant communication. If it wasn't for that communication and that positive and negative feedback and those constant health check-ins, who knows where our marriage would be. It's so important to be able to have that communication. I mean I can't be a power, you or that thing that you did and having that openness and that environment, that culture, to always be able to talk and live things before they become a snowball effect. And it's too much of a big of a monster to even fight it.

Speaker 1:

No, I'm just 100%. So let's close this out with a couple of things. Right, Marriage does suck because, again, you are taking on another person with different personality, trying to learn who they are and accommodate for them, and they're compromising a lot of other cases, right. So that's very difficult to do. And you have all the other external stuff that come into the marriage, right Financial stresses, kids that's internal, but kids, you know careers, family, friends, everything that comes into the marriage.

Speaker 2:

Everybody has an opinion.

Speaker 1:

Eagles, all those pieces that come in and you have to learn how to deal with those, even in the hard times, right, you have to continue to put that fate and step up and be there for the other person and unless you are battle tested and ready to continue to work through that and not quit it's gonna continue to suck for you, right? And you have to also be okay with the fact that. Look, sometimes it's gonna suck right, sometimes it's not gonna be good, but how do we get back to it and make sure it's good? And it happens through what you just said it's communication. So my recommendation for everybody is, you know, in terms of trying to have a successful marriage, is understanding and have bad times.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

You can always come back if you just communicate, if you have that communication, if you talk to it. You have that positive intent. Assume a positive intent all the time and make sure you're talking to it. Communicate things Like you know. You mentioned about when I'm in my dark times. I get like that. Sometimes I get really down on myself for whatever might be happening, and it's my ability to communicate that to you early and say, listen, I'm going down a rabbit hole right now I'm getting to a dark place, my mind is everywhere, like you can't really help me right now, but at least I'm communicating to you that if I tell you to fuck off, that is because it's not really meaningful. It's not against you, but, like I'm in that phase right now, maybe I need to go for a walk. Right, Don't snap back at me because I'm just not there. It's not against you. I'm battling the world right now, Right. So communication for me is key on that and accepting who the other person is.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and always. I will always end it with mercy. I don't know you need to have mercy and kindness for everybody around you, but especially your loved one. Sometimes we take each other for granted and we see that when there's a lack of appreciation for the other person in partnerships. I think that's when conversations become rude. Conversations become disrespectful. After there's a spark, just comes a whole another level of downward energy that we don't wanna be. So mercy is always at the core of each other and our intent.

Speaker 1:

Love it, love it. Huh, I'm gonna toast it out to marriage sucking.

Speaker 2:

All right, I love my word.

Marriage Challenges and Expectations
Challenges and Competition in Marriage
Navigating Challenges in Marriage
Key Communication and Mercy in Relationships