House of Wolves - A Power Couple's Playbook

Complexities of Modern Love and Relationships

November 27, 2023 Randy & Mary Vasquez Episode 15
House of Wolves - A Power Couple's Playbook
Complexities of Modern Love and Relationships
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Ever find yourself in relationship quicksand and desperately need a lifeline? My wife, Mary, and I are ready to throw you one. Join us as we tackle the complexities of modern love, from the awkwardness of telling someone there's no chemistry to the green-eyed monster of jealousy. We're sharing our intimate experiences and wisdom to help you navigate this unpredictable landscape with grace and respect.

Ever considered an open relationship? One brave listener, in the throes of monogamy, is contemplating exploring physical intimacy beyond her current partner while maintaining the emotional bond they share. We offer some hard truths and advice on this delicate topic. Is your significant other sharing a bit too much about your relationship with friends and family? Don't worry, we've got you covered on how to approach this tricky situation too. 

We're not just talking at you; we're engaging with you. We want to hear your burning questions on business, personal development, and of course, love. We're even considering live Q&A sessions to quench your thirst for knowledge. So, tune in, share your thoughts and learn with us as we dispel myths, and cultivate a healthier understanding of relationships. Together, we can turn the messy world of modern dating into a beautiful dance of respect and open communication. We can't wait to embark on this journey with you, one episode at a time.

Want to join in the conversation? Subscribe to The Broke Millionaire Youtube channel or follow Randy and Mary on Instagram. You can also check out their luxury & exotic vehicle rental service at howmotorsluxe.com, and elevate your side-hustle education at The Broke Millionaire Academy.

To watch our episodes please subscribe to The Broke Millionaire Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvci4bqKjDE&list=PLh_N9FtZhe5qF453HxF7SbrKqLg1D2PBT

Follow Randy on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/thebrokemillionaire_/
Follow Mary on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/mary__mar/

Join The Broke Millionaire Academy to begin/further your side-hustle education. Courses and Life Coaching all available at https://the-broke-millionaire-academy.teachable.com/

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Speaker 1:

I've been monogamous this whole time, but I'm ready for some new D and still keep this relationship. Please don't judge me. What should I do?

Speaker 2:

We're good, we're off. We're on, we're on, Alright, let's hit it. So welcome back to another episode of the House of Wolf podcast. Power Couple Playbook. You like that one Got it. I'm your co-host, Randy aka the Broke Millionaire, and I'm joined by my beautiful wife, Mary aka Mariman.

Speaker 1:

Hi everybody. How's everyone doing? Thank you for tuning in.

Speaker 2:

Leave it in the comments on how you're doing, so that we know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think I'm like on the Oprah show Everybody's like we're here.

Speaker 2:

So we're coming to you with this episode, something a little bit different than what we've done in the past, which is very interesting, as we've gone along with this podcast and we've done what? Maybe a good 10 episodes at this point, right? Something like that, maybe like 10 or 12, right? Yeah, one of the interesting things that we've learned through this right is that after every podcast that we post, we usually get people who either resonate with it, with the personal situation that they're in, where they say, hey, oh, my God, I'm in a similar situation or something like that happened to me. They'll DM you, they'll reach out to you, or they'll reach out to me, right, and it's very interesting how it's so relatable to people, which has been pretty cool and the reason why we keep doing this podcast. So we thought it would be a pretty cool idea today to spend a little time and talk about some of the situations, right? So this is called relationship or situation, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

I want to call it a situation ship because sometimes you could be married or with someone forever and being in a situation ship.

Speaker 2:

That's true.

Speaker 1:

Whenever you're in some kind of relation, but there are some shit happening. Yeah, that's a situation.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's true. So we spent a little some time on, I think, our top like three or four questions and situations that we have talked to people about, because we think, again, similar to how it's relatable to those people about when they follow up with us after the podcast. I think that this is also a situation that can be relatable to a lot of people out there that might have been in this situation or in this situation today. So I think it would be good for us to give our perspective on it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so there's like one or two questions here that I don't think you they have gotten to yet.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so it'll be interesting.

Speaker 1:

Sharp in your ears for what you're going to hear and open up your mind so we can give some, you know, open minded feedback from a non married, you know, loyal, great husband to a man in his 30s just giving wisdom, yeah. So, without any further ado, we're going to get started and we're going to go right into the first question. Okay, here's the first scenario. I am currently single and actively dating people online. It's rough out here People, please, are. So my biggest struggle is letting people know that there is no chemistry, obviously when there's no chemistry. So I end up ghosting them, which makes me feel fucked up, but I don't know any other way. Please help me stop ghosting people.

Speaker 2:

Okay, you want me to answer that first I mean, we can divide and conquer what was your thoughts.

Speaker 1:

I mean I'm glad that. I'm glad that they are aware that they're ghosting and that that's bad. I don't think ghosting is appropriate on any level. If the person's not doing anything wrong Ghosting, there's like a 10% chance that I'll vote on ghosting being okay In this situation. If you're actively dating, there is no reason why you should be ghosting. I feel that everybody deserves the feedback because if you're out there in a pool of people trying to meet the one or whatever it is, you're trying to have a connection with somebody. If you go on a date one, two, three times and you think you're vibing with the person, I think it's much harder not hearing from somebody of what went wrong, because then I don't know if it was my breath or maybe you know I had a really bad attitude or I don't know. I think that it would be very helpful if you were just to let that person know exactly what it is that you turned you off or what was it about them that you decided not to further pursue it. So I think it's a courtesy more than anything, and I think that people deserve the truth regardless, especially in the scenario that you're in, when you're both single, trying to look for that connection. I think people just need to know, even if it was nothing to say hey, listen, I think you are great. I didn't feel a connection. I loved X about you, but I really don't see myself committing further. I wish you luck, thank you.

Speaker 2:

I love it. I love that answer. Wait first, is that the answer that you gave the person?

Speaker 1:

Um, like a remix of that.

Speaker 2:

Okay, some some type of version of that. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1:

I yeah, I definitely use courtesy. That's not nice.

Speaker 2:

It can be ghosting people like how they're really in a perfect world and what you're saying, yeah, I get it Right. We're mature adults, especially if we're trying to date, um and and figure out the right one, especially after doing a couple of dates. I get that All right. Like we're mature adults, we should be able to communicate it. But I can see the person struggling with that because then what if that person that they're dating is like I don't have an attitude? What are you talking about? Or? My breath doesn't smell your breath?

Speaker 1:

smells. You are a ghoster.

Speaker 2:

I'm ghosting people. I think I would just go.

Speaker 1:

At that point I would just block them. But you did your due diligence by letting that person know that you're not vibing with them and you let them off the hook. That way they're not expecting. Imagine if you and I go on a really nice date and I'm thinking that we hit it off Right, and then you don't hit me back up and I'm here like hello are you okay?

Speaker 2:

Inside joke Right.

Speaker 1:

And then you're like yo, what the fuck? I thought like we hit it off. Just check is weird.

Speaker 2:

I don't know, I think. I think it all depends the situation Right. So I think, if, if you feel like the other person can handle that right, because I've had the person.

Speaker 1:

What do you mean?

Speaker 2:

Well, if you're, if you're going out a couple of days with them, you should know them enough to be able to oh one, Okay, Well, that might be different, but she said I'm actively dating people online. Okay.

Speaker 1:

That means Wednesdays and day Friday. I have another. Maybe we're not coming Sounds exhausting.

Speaker 2:

I you know I'm. I would love to give you a straight answer, but like no, you got to do the mature thing. But I think sometimes ghosting might be all right. I'm just going with it, right it? depends, not all the time, Not all the time, Right. I think she needs to. Sorry, I don't know who this person is, so no offense to that person, but grow up a little bit and, kind of you know, do the mature thing and have conversations with people. That's just awkward, Right. If you run into the person somewhere else, if you see them on another dating site, you never know. I think I don't know how that dating world goes online, but I'm pretty sure that people will start mixing up and you start meeting the same people and run into the same crowds. So I think that that's probably does not. Good for her rep is reputation, uh reputation reputation yet. But I don't know, sometimes I agree with maybe you're going to have to go some people because you got some, some weirdos out there. You got some weirdos. So I'd say, for me the straight answer is it depends. It depends on the situation, it depends on who you're dating. If you show up and the dude does not look like he looked like in his profile picture, um, and he's just straight weird, um, and you might fear for your life kind of thing, if you even keep talking to this person, then maybe ghosting is the right thing to do. So I think it all depends. So, to sum it up, at your discretion, at your discretion, keep ghosting ghost when you feel like it's appropriate to do, don't go to when. I guess the real thing is, if you're, if she's doing it just because she's afraid of the conversation, then that's different. But if you're doing it because you're like, look, I don't want to have a clump conflict because this person might do X or it's just negative, uh, attention that I don't need, and for me I'm like okay, maybe you got to go. So I think she's got to make the decision in terms of when's the right time to apply ghosting. I guess this is the thing that I would say.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to go back to basics here and reframe my answer right, because I'm disappointed at your answer and I'm going to agree to disagree. But I'm going to go take it back to that podcast where we talked about radical candor, and I think that we practice radical candor where we open it up and open up the space and it's like hey, I really care about you, but it would really be helpful if you stop doing blah, cause it makes you look like blah, and blah is, you know, a blank Like you, but we, we practice that after years of us being together and building that chemistry and understanding that that's something that works.

Speaker 2:

I understand.

Speaker 1:

I don't want to answer this question forever. I just want the person hearing this and to resonate with the fact that you don't need to ghost anybody. We are a person of age and if you're putting yourself online to date people and have a connection, you basically just like use the person and you use, you misuse your time. People deserve to know that you're not interested. It's like applying for a job and never hearing back on why you didn't get it. You're like, but why you said that I did really well in the interview. People deserve to know they deserve the truth.

Speaker 2:

Tell me how you really feel.

Speaker 1:

All right, all right, I'm done.

Speaker 2:

Let me ask a question off of that. Um, if, if you hit me up, if we date, and you hit me up and you're like, listen, it's not working for me. Oh cheers, oh my god, it's not working for me and that's it, and you leave it at that, you think it's all right for me to ask you for feedback, and would you give it to me?

Speaker 1:

It depends on how I frame that text.

Speaker 2:

And it was a tax.

Speaker 1:

Okay, they're online dating she needs to close out the gap so she can just say something like hey, jimmy, it was so nice meeting you up the other day. It was a lovely day. Listen, I don't think that we had a connection. I Wish you so much luck out there. Blah, blah, blah. Nice combo. Anyway, best of luck to you. Goodbye forever. I don't know.

Speaker 2:

But tell me what I did wrong.

Speaker 1:

What if I say that Okay, let me try one more time. Hey, jimmy, how are you? Thanks so much for drinks the other night. Um, I felt that we were having a great conversation, but, my, I feel that we didn't connect. I didn't have any chemistry when you Started talking so negative about your exes. It really turned me off that you made the date about your previous conversations, about your previous Relationships, and not really focused on getting to know me, and for that I feel that I can't move forward. Okay, good luck.

Speaker 2:

Jimmy Bye. All right, I can see that. I can see that block Ghosted.

Speaker 1:

I'm not responding again but I did the right thing. Yeah, I told them why I left the table like that. Okay, all right. Good, go with the next one, mary one, this one serious. Okay and sorry guys, if I, if you hear, I'm sorry, you probably can't tell, cuz Randy absolutely loves my braces. I just got braces this past week and I am congested. I think I have like sinus infection and I Can't talk. I'm like you're talking fun.

Speaker 2:

Okay, fine Okay.

Speaker 1:

All right, bear with me. Question number two I hadn't been in a traditional monogamous relationship since college. I am not, I'm sorry, I am in my late 20s, so I thought I would give a one-person relationship thing a try. Early on I brought up a number of times to my boyfriend that we should try an open relationship Because I do in fact want to have sex with other men, clarifying I have no desire to connect emotionally with anyone else, but the conversation always leaves him with mixed two negative vibes. I have been monogamous this whole time, but I'm ready for some new D and so keep this relationship. Please don't judge me. What should I do?

Speaker 2:

Wow, wait. So first of all, I did bleep it. I said wait, yeah, that is kind of a bleep. Yeah, I'm really confused.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so summarize, I know that I mean.

Speaker 2:

I thought that is in college, when you're supposed to not have Relationships that are just we want. You know kind of. You get that pass in college versus after the fact. So she's Whatever, whatever, whatever works, times are changing, I get it. Wow, that's that. That's crazy, it's a little loaded.

Speaker 1:

Some of the things are jumping at me is the fact that she's in her late 20s, right? So she's coming into some level of maturity, right, some trials and tribulations. She is now in a monogamous relationship, which she clearly I don't know if she's satisfied, but there's a particular curiosity about her being physically with other men and she understands that she does not want an emotional connection with somebody else and she has talked about this with her partner, her boyfriend, and it leaves him uncomfortable and I could imagine, you know, like, just like not in a good place. But she is doing the right thing by one. She says she's monogamous, so who's this whole time she's? She told him early on that. Hey, I feel like we should have an open relationship. I want to be with other people, but I'm emotionally connected to you and I don't want to connect with anybody else, just probably want to fuck around.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

What's up?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no, I'm with you. So I I think she's very mature for having the conversation, regardless of what her preferences are. That's cool, but I think it's mature her to have that conversation. I think that she should either do straight out, because I think and we've talked about this a lot of times right, it's Especially when you're starting to get to more of a mature age where we would consider a mature age, right, like the early 30s and so on, when you're like in now, in this generation, when time really matters, right. I think that she can't waste her time and where it's his time, right. So I think she needs to be fair to him. If he's not down with that is just move on. Don't try to force somebody, your beliefs, on somebody else, or try to force Something that they don't want, because there's gonna be a level of regret there sometime, regardless of what that is, because you don't know she doesn't, she doesn't want any of the emotional, but she doesn't know if something can turn into emotional with another man, right? So she's leading down a path that's very dangerous. So for me it's kind of like listen, you might want to cut that out with that person.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So in my opinion I mean I second exactly what you said honestly, copy and paste in. You know, if I were to just put my own two cents on it, I really think that I also agree that she should leave this guy. I really feel that if you're in some kind of relationship and you feel like one, you're suppressing who you really are Right in a relationship and you're just like here, like letting time go by when your thoughts are clearly drifting elsewhere. I really think that she's just. I think she's trying to conform to our normal way and she's using the monogamy thing as let me be normal for a chance when you don't really have to fit in one particular box. It is okay for you to be in an open relationship or not be in a relationship. You know, just date multiple people if they're okay with that. You know what I mean. Like just be who you are, come as you are and, like Randy says, leave the dude, because nobody deserves to be in a situation where they're not fully happy or fulfilled. So I vote on leaving and being who you are and fully expressing your sexuality and your desires to be with other people.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I agree with that. That's trade off. Well, transpirers saying yeah so I think if she ends up staying with him and trying to force that issue, I think she's doing herself with this justice as well as as him right, and I think you got to think about the other person, especially at that. I mean at any age, but especially at that age. You got to start thinking about like hey, do I really want to waste this guy's time, or?

Speaker 1:

you know, yeah, I mean, and also that, like, just looking at this and I'm not, I'm taking a moment and thinking about this guy and the receiving end. Imagine the level of insecurity that that it leaves him. You know what I mean. Like, just like, fuck, I'm with this girl, like she's cool, but she wants to do this Like I'm sure he's giving us some thought.

Speaker 2:

Um, yeah, that's tough, it is tough. Leave him Okay.

Speaker 1:

And no, you're not being judged. We're here to help at any capacity. So, yeah, um, I hope you leave him by the time you hear this.

Speaker 2:

If you don't, then we'll judge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, okay.

Speaker 1:

No, okay. Next question my wife is an open book. Whenever we have a fight or disagreement, she calls and runs her sisters and friends and trashes me. I think it's very immature and, frankly, I'm tired of it. I'm convinced they think I'm shit and because of her, our fights and disagreements are about budgeting, not wanting to spend my only day off at a farmer's market or forgetting something. I need both Ranny and Mary's input for this one. Yeah, what Shoot. Um, I feel for this guy. Okay, that's it I am trying to formulate my answer in my head in a way that makes sense. Um, yes, thank you for coming to a place where you can get relationship advice from two non experts, just people that have been married for some time.

Speaker 2:

Um, it makes us experts.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, okay, okay. How can we say this nicely? Um, you're, yeah, you're right. I I believe that her telling people, specifically people so close to her in her inner circle, is really a sabotage situation in her relationship. Me, from a judging perspective, I can say that it's a cry out loud for attention. I think that this person is maybe someone that likes to be baby, have all the attention to herself, and it's probably like like little kid syndrome, you know, like being the youngest child. It's me, me, me, me, me. So maybe she's not getting that kind of attention from her husband and she's crying and complaining about the little things. If they're, fights are only about budgeting and shit like that, and not his only day off. She probably wants to drag him to the farmer's market Like, come on, um, just going to be some compromise there. So I really think that she maybe likes a little drama in her life and she doesn't realize how much is affecting her partner. And, um, I feel for him. Um, if I were him, I would have some kind of a timeline conversation where I'll set some right expectations. I'll have a serious sit down and um express how meaningful that is to me that she keeps our relationship private and definitely, you know, not to her sisters and her best friends, like, if she needs to talk to somebody, like fucking call somebody in California, like or hotline, or call you, call us, call us, but not somebody so close, because, um, I've been in a situation like that where you just fuck it up for yourself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know what I mean. Like I don't know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So I agree a hundred percent, um, in terms of keeping stuff to yourselves, right, especially that because what you're doing is now everybody hates that person, right, because nobody's going to love you like your family or your friends or whatever. So I think that you end up in a situation where now you know, like if I, if I made a mistake with you, and you run and you tell your mom about it, or you tell your mom you're, you're, you're side of it, I'm done Right. Like forever your mom is going to have that in her mind Uh, you might forgive me, but she didn't forgive me, right, and forever I'll be this person that she's mad at. Yeah, right. So we have to make sure that we're keeping our stuff private, because then when you're taking stuff externally, it could just get much worse. There's no recovery from that. It just makes the situation um much worse than you know what you're the benefit that you're getting from hey, like you said, hey, I got this uh, feeling of free insurance from somebody else that he or she is wrong, right. But now you're losing more in the relationship. And then the other side is and you know, I've talked about this a lot it's like I think the person that's running to tell somebody else is making themselves look so stupid, right, and they're making themselves look stupid because then they end up back with the person. So I'm like, okay. So you ran to me. Let's say I'm, you know, your brother or your, your whatever. You ran to me to tell me about how bad this person is and all the things that they're doing to you, but then next week you're with them. Yeah, right. So now in my eyes, if I'm that brother, I'm going to say, yeah, you kind of look like the idiot. No offense, because you know you. you should know better than this. So what is it that you want me to do? So now you start losing a little bit of credibility with me and with your family in terms of you know your thought process and what's really going on here. Yeah, um, and I think again, you add those external influences that make the situation just so much worse. So yeah. I think you got to keep things private. I think, um, there's to an extent to that as well. You should talk when there's things that are over the edge, not like, you know, budgeting and stuff like that. Those are things that stay within a relationship, but you know, if it's over the edge, abuse, stuff like that you should be able to talk about it, but if it's just something simple, uh you know regular financial conversations and stuff like that. Like keep it to yourself because it's just going to make the situation so much worse.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, um, in terms of a conversation, um, how would you set up the space for him to talk to her? Because that is I'm thinking about her and how she's going to come out and be a little defensive, right? So I want to set the right environment on how we would approach a conversation like that. I like it.

Speaker 2:

So for me, I would sit down with the person and just have be as direct as possible and be like look, here's how that makes me feel Right, when you do X and you run and tell somebody, it makes me feel certain way because now you're putting me in this position where now I only if I made a mistake and it is my fault, I need to make things up to you, but I also need to make things up to everybody else, and you know, I need to figure out how to now date everybody else and how to have this great relationship and fix issues with multiple people, which makes it so much worse. Like you have to understand that you know one either if I made a mistake, I'm going to make mistakes Everybody is. We're human, that's what happens. Or, number two, hey, what happens in our relationship needs to stay in our relationship, because we don't want any external influences happening. So you know, I understand that you're probably heard. I understand that you probably needed ear. Maybe those are the resources out there that you can leverage. Maybe you can. We can talk about going to therapy where you can voice your opinion. I think that's a good one, right? So speaking to them directly about the impact that they're having, but at the same time, also them providing an avenue for that person to be able to make a decision, an avenue for that person to be able to have conversations, because you could lead into the path of hey, don't do that. And then the person turns around and is like what, what are you trying to say? You're trying to just, you know, block me from having conversations about my life with you know the people who care about me, and so on, or? you're doing that on purpose, so it could lead to that defense mechanism. But the other person, I think you have that conversation about the impact and then you provide a solution that could probably make the situation better.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, okay, I love it. I think that was really good.

Speaker 2:

Thank you there you go Okay. I got more.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we're done to our last question.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

So keep it nice and short, okay, oh God, okay, straight up. I am very jealous like bad and she wrote bad, bad caps. Oh caps, okay, yeah, it's very good I have been faking, being cool with certain things that my new man shares with me, but I'm holding back a lot so I don't turn him off. I know it's a problem because I have lost two other relationships for the same reason. I am so embarrassed to let him know what level of insecurity is last jealousy I'm in because I don't want to lose him. How can I express myself without turning him off?

Speaker 2:

Go ahead, shoot you first. And I just got the question. Give me some time.

Speaker 1:

I have not answered this question. This was fresh from last night. Okay, well, let's start with the positive. Let's give it to her in a sandwich. The good thing is is that you are fully aware that you have a problem. You already have lost two relationships over being jealous and slash insecurity and won't go with insecurity, because jealousy is a projection of being insecure. So I'm so happy that you have reached that space and that we can have a conversation about it. You already have a track record of losing relationships over this particular problem and it's from the sounds of it you really care about this guy and you also don't want to lose him. So I think that, from what I can see, you're probably an overall, a very good overall, and you care about the future of this relationship, and this particular angst is on the brink of making it or breaking it. I'm always for transparency and I'm always for no secrets in a relationship. So the fact that you're again suppressing yourself, not being yourself, it sounds like you're containing who you really are for the sake of the relationship. Now, of course, you know this is something that we have to tread lightly with, because you don't want to just come out and over and be like, hey, I'm like bash it, crazy jealous. You know, this is who I am, love me for who I am. He can easily walk away and you're gonna have to be okay with that right. But what we can do is that we can give it to him in a sandwich and say listen, I haven't practiced this right. So the way that I would communicate a difficult message to someone is hi, or I mean this is in person like hi, babe, listen, I really care about you. I really see us going very far in this relationship. And then you insert three things that you really love about the relationship and how he makes you feel and say I have been struggling personally for some time with a lot of insecurities which are now manifesting into what you may call it as jealousy, but they're really insecurities and there are things that I have to work within myself. Sometimes I will lose sight of that, that it's a me problem and I might project onto you when that happens. Please help me stay aware of this issue that is ongoing for me by reminding me of this conversation with kind words. This way, you know, we land the plane soft and gently while you know. It's kind of like a reminder of okay, yeah, you're right, this is about me, not about you. I'm cool, okay, however, I'm not telling you to blindfold yourself. There might be situations where you're legit jealous and that will not be an insecurity and some things may have to be addressed. But again, I always say have mercy on the other person, be gentle with your words without having to camouflage your message.

Speaker 2:

I like it. I've said that's perfect.

Speaker 1:

No, you have to answer.

Speaker 2:

I just you know how I feel about jealousy. I think that that's insecurity, like you said, right? So for me it's like she really needs to figure out herself. I'm gonna give it to her straight she really needs to figure out herself before she even gets into a relationship. I know she's in a relationship already, I get that, but she needs some time apart, or she needs to figure that out, because any situation when you're jealous could be misunderstood and can lead down a path, no matter who you are, and I think there are people who put up with it At the beginning and for some time that's the worst part. Yeah, that's the worst that well, you put up with it because you think things are gonna change. You think, hey, maybe it's just this one situation, but as everything continues to amount and let's say I allow that from you right, then I think it just gets worse and worse and worse. Right, because now every situation becomes that and I think that you know, for me it's you got it. She's got to work on herself before she's in any type of relationship, because she's just gonna burn those bridges, like she did already those two other relationships. Yeah so for me it's hey, you got to figure out your own shit Before you, you know you gotta do the work.

Speaker 1:

You gotta do the work.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly. So I'm not saying necessarily that she has to leave the person, but a simple conversation of like, listen, I need have some shit that I need to work on. Having that conversation about hey, when you do this or when this happens, I notice that I get into this. I've had this. This is a trigger for me. I need help in this situation. I need some Type of guidance through it. Right now it's not reassurance, because you and I have talked about that many times I can never provide you with the insurance that you need. Like, if you're insecure, right, like, no matter what I do, you're always gonna find something if you're jealous and you're insecure. Yeah so I think she just needs to do the work and figure it out. She needs to grow up and another to be very direct and grow up, do the work, figure out her Insecurities, why, and work on them, and then I think she can have a good relationship. But until she does that, there's nothing else that I think will get her to that point.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I agree, and I feel like if he's a real one, you know he'll stick through it. As long as you are dedicated to doing the things that you need to do to keep that shit at bay and getting the help that you need, like signing up to counseling and Having those conversations, even when you have weeks that you guys are not talking about it, you know, be the one to bring it up. I'm like hey, listen, you know, I think I'm making some progress here that way. It's not like God, that body in the room, do you say that? Another?

Speaker 2:

friend in the room.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's that, yeah, yeah, go work on yourself, baby girl, and DM me for some other stuff.

Speaker 2:

All right. So that's it for questions.

Speaker 1:

For right now, I think we're good, I think our next series of Q&A is because we have some business entrepreneurial questions that we haven't addressed, but I think it'll be spilled over too much, so I think we'll have a complete different podcast for those answers. Yeah and I am so excited. Guys, please keep those questions coming, don't be bashful. Literally anything goes. We won't ghost you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and if you like this format, if you like the way that we were able to answer some of these questions and talk about it and have a conversation, then by all means, let us know, give us some feedback. You know feedback is key, like Mary said, and we'll continue to bring some more of this. Maybe we'll do some live, which I think would be pretty cool. But, yeah, anything that we can do to help from our expert Part of you know being married and and the years that we have and the things we've been able to accomplish by all means, I think we're ready to give that off to everybody else. So, any other questions, submit them. If it's about relationship, submit them by relationship. About business minimal business is about personal development submit them. We'll answer anything and everything. I think we're pretty good at that and being very direct. So, if you like it, hit us up, share this podcast, like it, comment, subscribe All the good stuff so that we're able to come back and give you some more.

Speaker 1:

Yep, all right guys, bye.

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Open Relationship and Relationship Privacy
Navigating Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships
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